“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from, along with all malice. 32. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
I felt moved to write about grudges today. It is something that we all have to deal with, and that we all need to get out of our hearts and minds. Webster defined it: “a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment.” “Persistent” is the key word. It began with anger over something, and that something has been internalized and rules in your heart – persistently. What is wrong with grudges? Grudges are bad for us personally. When we persistently hold ill will against someone, it literally robs us of peace of mind and heart. Persistent ill will can also ruin our health. Grudges can stunt, or halt, our spiritual growth. Think of it: We are saved by the grace of God. This means that grace becomes a part of our lives. We are to act toward other people with grace. If we are filled with bitterness and hatred, we cannot practice grace towards other people. Grudges interfere with our prayers. Really, if you are holding a grudge against someone, do you, or can you, really pray for them? What we need to pray is for the Holy Spirit to remove that grudge so that He can help us in our growth in Christ. Grudges hurt our witness for Christ. People are not drawn spiritually toward bitter and resentful people. What do we need to do about our persistent ill feelings towards other people? Paul gives the answer in the next verse. He wrote, “be kind to one another.” That advice might have blown someone’s mind. You might ask, “Do you really think that I can be kind to that person?” Hey, you might give it a try. For example, bake him her a cake, or, more likely, go to the bakery and get a cake, and take it to the person who is eating away at your witness and, for that matter your health. Paul followed that with be “tenderhearted, forgiving one another.” Grudges make us grow callous in our outlook on life. To be tenderhearted is to be merciful. (Doesn’t that look something like Jesus?) I tell myself, when I get peeved at someone and they are beginning to, let us say, get on my nerves, I know that I need to forgive them. Why? Let’s let Paul answer that question: “…forgiving one another, as Christ forgave you.” It’s not always easy but it will always be Christlike. Come on! Let it go! Bro. Joe
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“Do all things without murmuring and disputing. 15. That you might be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom you shine as lights in a dark world.”
The point of Paul’s reminder to the Philippians was that they conduct themselves in a way that they would “shine as lights in a dark world.” This was one of the first commands that Jesus gave in the Sermon on the Mount: “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven. (Matthew 5:16) Just as Jesus saw the world in darkness, so did Paul, and so will we if we will just look around. This darkness did not start in the last few years. According to the Bible, the world has always been a place of darkness in need of God’s light. As Jesus ordered and as Paul admonished, we are to be the means of showing God’s light to the world. How do we do this? We do not do it by being religious, judgmental or acting like Pharisees. We let our lights shine through the lives that we live. Paul gave two examples of things that we shouldn’t do if we are to “shine as lights in a dark world.” He wrote for them to “do all things without murmuring….” The modern translation of this word is complaining. Before I come down hard on complaining, let me remind you that we all complain at some time or other. Let’s just go ahead and confess it at the outset. The problem is that for a lot of people, even Christians, complaining is a chronic condition. What is wrong with complaining? One thing is that its source is anger, and when complaining is chronic it means that the anger has found root in the person’s heart. When anger becomes engrained in the heart it tends to make one dissatisfied with everything. This is one of the devil’s tools. He loves to maket us angry and get us to complain about everything. Another thing wrong with complaining is that it is not grounded in love. If we constantly complain about people it means that we do not love them as we should. Yes, I know that some people constantly get on our nerves, but we should not let them determine how we talk or act. Evidently, complaining had become a problem in the Philippian church and was dimming the church’s light; therefore, Paul reminded them that they needed to stop complaining. If complaining was making their lights dim, it will make our lights dim as well. He wrote for them to do “all things without disputing….” The modern translation of this word is “arguing.” A more colloquial translation is “fussing.” (In Southwest Georgia, it would be translated “fussin’.”) I have to admit that it is difficult not to argue or fuss sometimes. If a person says or does something that is so obviously wrong, we want to straighten him or her out. What I have discovered, however, is that when we argue with someone we don’t get them straightened out. The main result is usually that our blood pressure is raised. I have to admit that there was a time in my life when I was more argumentative than I am now, but after multiple fusses, I began to realize that fussing and arguing didn't solve anything. It really doesn’t solve anything in Christ’s church. There was a problem with fussing and arguing in the church at Philippi. In 3:2, Paul asked the church to “beseech Euodia and Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord.” Evidently, Euodia and Syntyche were two powerful women in the church who were having an ongoing argument and it was causing trouble in the church. We do not realize how our fussing can affect other people. If we want to shine as lights in this dark world, we need to remember that if our behavior does not reflect the love of Christ, we will not shine for Him. We need to be careful that we refrain from constantly complaining and arguing. Bro. Joe “Open rebuke is better than secret love. 6. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” 28:23: “He that rebukes a man afterward shall find more favor than he that flatters with his tongue.”
I had a good time “wrestling” with these two passages in Proverbs. Let me share with you what I concluded. I call it “real love.” Real love reveals itself. The gist of 27:5 is that love should not be hidden. Three of the sweetest words that we can share with friends is “I love you.” When those words are really meant, they are like a gift from God. Real love can also reveal itself through action. Acts of love and kindness are also like gifts from God. We should not hesitate to share the love that Jesus has put in our hearts with others. Real love is honest. This means that real love offers constructive criticism. (We just need to realize that constructive criticism is given to the person for whom it is meant, not to someone else. Otherwise it is gossip. Just Saying!) Criticism borne of the love of Jesus is also like a gift from God. It is also important for us to be able to accept constructive criticism. I know that I have grown in my walk with the Lord and in my ministry by friendly constructive criticism. I've had the unfriendly kind too, and was sometimes even helped by it. We just need be sure that our honest criticism is accompanied by love. According to 28:23, real love does not needlessly flatter. If we are going to flatter someone, let’s be sure that we really mean it. Jesus set the example for us in His conduct with people. When He called Simon Peter to follow him, He told Peter that he was a “rock.” (That is what Peter, or Petros in Greek, means.) That was not false flattery, because Peter was a born leader. But when the “Rock” bragged that he would protect Jesus at all costs, Jesus lovingly told Peter that he would not defend Him but would deny Him. Of course, you know Peter denied Jesus three times. Later, before He ascended, Jesus again flattered Peter by telling him to “Feed My sheep.” (John 21:16) This was, again, a reference to Peter’s leadership qualities. When we really love people, we love them openly and honestly. This is what real Christian fellowship is about. We need more of it!!!!! Bro. Joe “For I said, Hear me, lest otherwise they should rejoice over me: when my foot stumbles they magnify themselves against me.”
“Yea, my own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.” We do not normally think of David as having relationship problems, but some of his psalms prove otherwise. The two selections from Psalms gives us two examples of relationship problems. In these two examples David was beset by people who wanted to humble, or shame, him and by a friend who betrayed him in some way. Just read on in the psalms and you will find many passages similar to these. David knew what we should know, i.e., one of our biggest problems in this world is with people. Think about it, how many of your heartbreaking, or heartrending moments have been because of what other people said about you or did to you? If this has never happened to you consider yourself fortunate. (We might also consider the times that we mistreated someone else. Just Saying!) Jesus spent a lot of time trying to help us love and relate to people, because He knew that they would not always be easy to love and would not always be our friends. Paul wrote about relationships with other people, because he knew that they would be the cause of a lot of our problems. This is why it is so important to practice loving people on a daily basis. If we are to ever "love the unlovable" we will have to be filled with God's Spirit of love and really apply it. I'm afraid that in our churches we too often fail the "other people" test. The New Testament tells us only to love them. Let’s take David’s example from Psalm 41:9. There was someone he had trusted who betrayed him in some way. I don’t think that there is anything more disappointing than to be betrayed by someone with whom we have been close. Proverbs 17:17a says that “A friend loveth at all times…” This means that a true friend will not betray that friendship. We can’t do anything about others who are not true friends, but we can be careful ourselves to always be true friends and “love at all times.” What should we do in adverse circumstances like these? First, I would think that the first thing we should do is to pray for the person. Ask God to help your friend, and ask Him to help you continue to love your errant brother or sister. When I have prayed for people with whom I have had personal problems, I have found that I can’t dislike them. God knows what the situation is and He will answer our prayers. The second thing that we should do is to fight against the temptation for pay the person back. The Bible always tells us that vengeance belongs to God. It is difficult for us to not want to avenge ourselves when we feel that we have been offended in some way. But if we will look at Jesus, and how He reacted to such situations, we will see that we cannot really avenge ourselves. All that happens is that the strife continues on and on. Romans 12:17 tells us: “Recompense to no man evil for evil.” Evil can never stamp out evil; therefore, we do not return the evil done to us. The third thing that we should do is to seek to reconcile with the person. I know that this is difficult, and it should not be done until we have prayed about the situation and have forgiven the person in our hearts. We want reconciliation to be sincere. In order for this to be the reality, we will have to forgive. You might be thinking: “Bro. Joe, you have lost your mind. I want to insist that they apologize." That would be good, but I don’t remember that anyone who crucified Jesus apologized to Him before He forgave them. If the other person will not reconcile with us, we should simply wish them well and move on with our lives. Life is too short to hold grudges against people. We will always have to deal with people in one way or the other. Let’s just make sure that we deal with them in a Christlike manner. . Bro. Joe For, brethren, you have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.”
I want to focus our thoughts on this text on the words, “but by love serve one another.” We have been called to serve the Lord. But how do we serve the Lord? The paradox is that God does not need for us to serve Him, but we need to serve Him. There is nothing that we can do that will add or take away from God. He is totally secure within Himself. But God knows that we need to serve Him. Our service to God/Jesus will ultimately make a difference in our lives and in the lives of other people. God does not need us, but He has made us so that we need Him. After all, we were created in His image to have fellowship with Him and to worship and serve Him. What should this service entail? Paul wrote, “but by love serve one another.” Serving God is rooted in our love for all people, and It is especially rooted in our love for fellow Christians. Jesus said in John 13:35, “By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one to another.” We are in fellowship with each other, and this fellowship is crowned with the love that we have for each other. We should not primarily serve out of a sense of duty, but we should serve out of a sense of love. This is how Jesus served, and it made a difference in the lives of the people that He touched. It is our duty to serve, but it is also our pleasure to serve and it is our privilege to be used of God to serve others. This does not mean that we will always be subservient to others, but that we will serve them as Jesus did. Whatever service we render to our fellow Christians or to anyone else, should be done in love. We should not only serve out of a sense of love, but we should enjoy the service that God leads us to do for others. At this point, you might be asking, “but what is this service that I am to render?” It is whatever God leads you to do at a particular time. This service might be to just say a kind word to a lonely person. It might mean visiting a lonely elderly person in a nursing home. It might mean going on a mission trip to another state or another country. In other words, there is no limit to the forms that our service can take. Whenever we serve we need to keep the admonition of Psalm 100:2a in mind: “Serve the Lord with gladness…” We are not to serve the Lord grudgingly. We should be glad that God is willing to use us in His service. I have said and written this over and over again: We are not doing the Lord a favor by serving Him. He is doing us a favor by letting us serve Him. If we take the attitude that serving God is a privilege granted to us by Him, we will be more likely to serve Him gladly, whatever form that service may take. One thing that we need to remember is that, ultimately, serving God means to serve and minister to people. No matter what form your service might take, it will benefit other people. I joyfully remember this when I preach. All we need to do is to look at the ministry of Jesus in the four gospels. His teachings and His miracles benefitted people. Indeed, the sacrificial death of Jesus was for the benefit of people. This is why Jesus calls us to serve Him by ministering to others in His name. In John 13, Jesus did something that totally surprised His disciples. He washed their feet. The Creator and Savior of the world washed the dirty feet of His disciples. If Jesus, the Son of God, can stoop to wash people’s feet, we can stoop to do whatever we need to do serve Him – and do it lovingly and gladly. Bro. Joe We do not normally think of David as having relationship problems, but many of his psalms prove otherwise. Let's read two examples: Psalm 38:16: "For I said, Hear me, lest otherwise they should rejoice over me: when my foot stumbles they magnify themselves against me." Psalm 41:9: "Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me." In these two examples. David was beset by people who wanted to humble, or shame, him and by a friend who betrayed him in some way. Just read on in the Psalms and you will find many passages similar to these.
David knew what we should know, i.e., that one of our biggest problems in this world is "other people." Think about it, how many of your heartbreaking, or heartrending moments have been because of what other people said about you, or did to you? Jesus spent a lot of time trying to help us love and relate to people, because He knew that they would not always be easy to love and would not always be our friends. I should also add that other people might have a problem understanding us. Just saying! Paul wrote about relationships with other people, because he knew that they would be the cause of a lot of our problems, as well a lot of our delights. This is why it is so important to practice loving people on a daily basis. If we are to ever "love the unlovable" we will have to be filled with God's Spirit of love and really apply it. I'm afraid that in our churches we too often fail the "other people" test. The New Testament tells us only to love them. We need to heed the New Testament. Bro. Joe “As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed begged to go with Him. 19. Jesus did not let him, but said, ‘Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how much He has had mercy on you. 20. So the man went away and began to tell in Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him. And all the people were amazed.”
I am assuming that you know something about the incident that took place between Jesus and the Gadarene demoniac. I will share a little background that led up to the three verses of our text. Jesus was in a place called Gadara, where He saw a man literally running around necked among the tombs. He was possessed by at least one-thousand demons. Obviously the man was a social outcast. In fact, he was dangerous. The gist of the incident is that Jesus cast the demons out of the man and he was immediately sane. This incident tells us some things about Jesus that we need to know Jesus saw the man and immediately went to him in order to help him. Keep in mind that everyone else passed by the demon-possessed man . Let’s not be too hard on them, because the man was dangerous. The point is that the man whom everyone else shunned, ignored or simply ran away from was loved by Jesus, and Jesus did something to change him. This is how Jesus was in His earthly life, and this is how He is today as He reaches out to us from the right hand of the throne of the Father. Jesus is intensely interested in every aspect of our lives, and He will not pass by us. When we reach out to Jesus, we find Him reaching out to us. When we call out to Jesus, we find that He is ready to hear us and to help us. We are His representatives on earth, and we are to love people as He did. We need to love the “down and out” as much as we do the “up and in.” Through Faith in Jesus, we can have a lot of good things happen in our lives, and through that same faith, we can help other people to have good things happen in their lives. I’m not suggesting that you go out looking demoniacs, I am telling you to love people enough to reach out to them with your faith and love. Jesus knew what the man’s problem was before He encountered him. He did not go to the tombs by accident. In the first place, a naked man running around among the tombs would be well-known. That is not to say that the man was popular, but he would have inevitably been well-known. In fact, if you will read the text, you will find the demons that possessed the man knew who Jesus was. They knew what Jesus could do and begged Jesus not to send them into the abyss (the pit of hell) but into the pigs that were nearby. The point is that the problem that the man had was demon-possession and Jesus rid him of the demons. Jesus will do the same in our lives. Whatever our besetting sins and problems are, Jesus knows about them and He can rid of us them. We must want to be as tired of our besetting sins as much as the demoniac must have wanted to get rid of the demons. We do not have one problem, whether caused by sin or not, that Jesus does not know about and that He cannot help is with. We need to surrender to Jesus and reach out to Him in faith. Jesus did not heal the man of his demons and then just walk off and leave him. Instead, Jesus gave the man a challenge. The demoniac wanted to become a follower of Jesus, but Jesus had another plan for his life. Jesus told him to go home and tell the people who had known him as a demoniac about what Jesus had done for him. He did this and the people were in wonder over what Jesus did for the man. Just as Jesus did for the demoniac, He will do for us. He will give us a greater purpose than we have ever known. He wants us to go out and tell people about what He has done for us. It is quite possible that people will be in wonder over what Jesus has done for you. Keep this in mind: Jesus has a purpose for your life. Put your faith in Jesus, release yourself to His will, and see what He will use you to do. The same Jesus that we saw in this text is alive and at work today. I pray that Jesus is alive and at work in your life. Bro. Joe “And whatsoever we ask, we receive of Him, because we keep His commandments, and do these things that are pleasing in His sight. 23. And this is His commandment that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another as He gave us commandment.”
“And this I pray, that your love may abound, yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment.”
“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33
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AuthorDr. Joe Beauchamp is the author of this blog and website. Categories
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